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Bachman and five monkeys

Before getting to my main topic I’d like to ask any readers out there if they can answer this question: how is it that presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann can keep a straight face while she claims that her spouse’s actions should be off limits, while at the same time she continues to take pot shots at Michelle Obama?
And now onto the main topic...
An old army buddy continues to forward e-mails that make me cringe. The far right throws a lot a bogus crap out hoping something sticks– and he seems more than willing to help out by passing the garbage on. Occasionally however, some make sense.
For example, there’s one going around that suggests that everyone on welfare be drug tested in order to receive benefits. I can give this one a big, “Hell, yes.” Though I still maintain a better idea would be to legalize drugs (especially marijuana) and tax the heck out of it. In one swoop enough money could be raised to take a giant bite out of the deficit, drug cartels dealt a deathblow, the police freed up to deal with real crime, prison population cut, and Iowa farmers– the best in the world– given an alternative crop. But short of legalization, drug testing welfare recipients gets the nod from me.
The missive also suggests that all elected officials be tested as well and to that all I can add is, “Amen, brother.”
And that brings me to a missive I recently received titled “Five Monkeys.” I never heard of this before so I searched it on Google and found out it has been used by many-many people to make a point, even though there is no source or validation to the psychological experiment it cites. Nevertheless, I love it. My apologies to readers who have already heard it.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, all of the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.  After awhile, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result– all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water again.  Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now put away the cold water and  remove one monkey from the cage– replace it with a new one.  The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.  After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stair– he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, and then the fifth.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest  monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.  Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.  Why not?
Because as far as they know that the way it’s always been done around here.  And that my friends, is what we have in government. What has to be done is to remove all the monkeys (politicians) at once before the obvious good things that need to be done can get accomplished– like reforming our drug laws or immigration policies.
But then that’s never been done before, or has it?